Months have passed by since I last wrote here, and it's not because I haven't had thoughts to share. It's that every time I sit down to write, I realize a common theme: isolation, despair, loneliness. The last two posts I wrote were similar in nature. But the pandemic hadn't hit yet - leaving the … Continue reading Waiting on that next breath-taking view
I hate being alone. I always have. I'm perfectly fine traveling to a new city alone, having dinner alone, taking myself out to the movies. I am perfectly fine coming home from work alone, waking up alone -- as long as it is not storming. I'm not sure I'll ever get over my fear of … Continue reading An extrovert living an introvert’s life
It's Christmas Day. And I am alone. My tree is down. My decorations are packed away ready for storage. My daughter's new toys are put away - mostly. My dog is snoring on the couch beside me as Star Wars plays on Disney+ in the background. I am once again reminded how far my life … Continue reading Alone on Christmas
One of the hardest things to wrap my head around is: there are things about my marriage I miss. This time of year my ex-husband used to make buckeyes for me. In my mind, December tastes like those peanut butter chocolate treats as much as fall tastes like apples and cinnamon. And he used to … Continue reading Buckeyes and hot cocoa
A friend shared this meme, and I wanted to write this - not to my friend but to the creator of this meme. The thread wasn't a safe place to respond in this way nor was it the appropriate place to respond. So I come here. To the creator of this meme, I know what … Continue reading An open letter to a crusader against fatphobia
It has been nearly two months since I've had something to say here. Sometimes writing my story saddens me, and I have so much else going on in my life, I cannot handle the extra emotions. I am now officially moved into my new home. I am now officially a grad school student. My daughter … Continue reading Pushing through
Once we decided to have a baby, it didn't take long for me to get pregnant. I was pregnant about two months after my miscarriage. (It has been a while since I've written this part of my story. So go back and read it again if you need to.) I knew I was pregnant long … Continue reading How pregnancy changed my abusive marriage
When everything happened to me I said only my relationship with church suffered, not my relationship with God. But that's not true. The truth is, I rarely turn to God right now. I'm not really sure how to get back on track with my faith because I no longer have a home church or a … Continue reading Time to Remove the Poison
I should be elated. I should be celebrating. I did it. I bought a house. I bought a house that is all mine. I'm doing things the way I want to. I have an idea of what it should look like in my mind. I know what colors I want. I know what style I … Continue reading My path through Wonderland
I never wanted to be pregnant. I always felt called to adopt. I had a dream of saving an Ethiopian toddler from the alarmingly high sex trafficking rates in the country. Ethiopia has one of the largest rates of orphans in the world with 4.6 million. According to UNICEF, 800,000 were orphaned due to HIV/AIDS. … Continue reading Ignoring God’s plan
The Quiet Victim 